By Kiran Thakur
When a relationship ends, rejection shatters your heart into smithereens. But in many circumstances, you know the individual has abandoned you for good and there is no way to get them back. Even yet, you’re constantly worried. In such a situation, how will you ever be able to move on? No doubt, being in love entails incurring the risk of heartbreak.
But it is possible to move on from a break-up if you are willing to take the necessary measures. Here are a few crucial steps that might help you in moving on.
1. Accept the reality- A breakup is unlikely to inspire hope or happiness in you. It does not, however, imply the end of life. The heart often mulls over the emotion of being separated, unable to bear it. The unpleasant truth, however, lies behind the occurrence. Your relationship would not have ended in a split if you and your partner were intended to be together. But you may be wondering why, even though you never advocated for separation and made untiring attempts to keep your relationship alive, you were abandoned or cheated on.
It’s reasonable to be downhearted because no one wants to be in agony. But be honest with yourself and see if you can avoid the truth. The answer will, without a doubt, not be positive. No one on earth can save you if you continue to believe that your partner will return to you. You must first recognize the facts and then proceed with caution while confronting your partner.
2. Avoid doing anything that may draw your ex’s attention- It’s an irrefutable fact that you have a reoccurring idea of your ex in the back of your mind. With a wrinkle of hope in the corner of your wilted heart that your ex may pop up in your inbox one day and urge you to sort things out.
And if you’re determined to make your fantasy a reality, you’re on your way to cutting your neck if you consider doing foolish things like dispassionately placing tattoos all over your body, giving your hair an unusual style, or publishing overexposing images merely to capture their notice.
How do you expect these things to make your partner’s heart melt all over if your love couldn’t make them stay? And, to your astonishment, if it does happen, it only bears witness to a flimsy foundation. These goods are only transient distractions if respect, love, and efforts can’t move mountains. The inside beauty, not the fleeting external beauty, is what truly matters. Don’t let yourself get carried away!
3. You don’t have to be too kind to them- It’s usually a good idea to avoid unpleasant emotions. James Matthew Barrie once stated, “Always be a little gentler than required.” Even if he were still living today, he would have labelled this circumstance exceptional. For your own sake, it’s sometimes necessary to draw the line. Your personality is defined by your kindness, but never at the expense of your self-respect.
If your ex wants help after breaking up with you and inflicting severe emotional harm, and instead of rejecting him or her, you continue to support that person, you are permitting them to take you for granted. Such a personality trait is harmful. Make sure you stay away from it.
4. Believing in the revenge notion is futile- It not only causes you to experience all of the unpleasant emotions, but it also causes you to be self-destructive. A strong and smart person faces adversity with a resilient attitude, not at the expense of their mental well-being. It will make matters worse if you keep repeating what occurred to you. Consider what would happen if a 5-year-old tore your book to shreds in a fit of rage.
In response, do you toss the child’s book? No. Why? Because if you do the same, you will be sharing the same negative energy as the previous. In this instance, what justifies it? Either you go to the child and chastise him/her, telling him/her not to do it again, or you go to the child and explain the situation to him/her and beg him/her to apologise.
When it comes to your ex, I’m sure he or she isn’t a child that has to be reprimanded. However, seeking vengeance can land you in a predicament you would never want to be in. How can you think yourself worthy of blaming someone for injuring you if you spew toxins and disrupt your mental state? If someone wrongs you, cut ties with them, not with your mental comfort.
5. Stop begging your ex to come back to you- This is by far one of the most telling indicators of someone who is emotionally unstable. If someone truly wants to be with you, they will stay with you no matter what. When someone refuses to do something, you will be forced to hear even the most insignificant excuses. Mutual trust and respect are the wheels that propel relationships forward. If one places the other on a pedestal while remaining beneath the ground, one is unlikely to be treated with respect.
Pleading with your ex to return to you repeatedly demonstrates a large portion of your emotional dependant personality. You are reducing the status of your self-esteem when you disclose that open, insecure side of yourself.
6. Cut all ties- Cut all ties with your ex; digitally, emotionally, mentally, and physically. This is a time-consuming process. It does not happen overnight. Even after a breakup, the majority of us feel compelled to strike up a discussion. But wait! If your mind entices you to engage in conversation, keep it as brief as possible. The meagre talks will eventually lead to an incommunicative zone.
A well-known adage goes as follows: “Out of sight. Out of mind.” And this is quite pertinent to the situation. If you eliminate all relationships with that individual, you’ll eventually have very little information about them, allowing you to ruminate over less than you did before. If none of these options works for you, unfriend, mute, or block them.
Don’t text the person on your own if you don’t want to be too harsh. Never ask your buddies to give you an update on your ex. If you receive a text or a phone call, be sure your heart doesn’t melt.
7. It’s insidious to get into a new relationship when you’re not in love- Finding a replacement for someone is not the same as moving on. You’re breaking two hearts if you’re looking for someone to replace your ex. First and foremost, the person with whom you intend to form a relationship. Then there’s you. What makes you think you need someone to forget about your past? If you imagine that simply engaging your mind elsewhere will heal you, you are mistaken.
You should only get along with someone if you genuinely like them. With an underlying motive, your relationship cannot thrive in the long run.
8. There’s no need to wallow in self-pity- You’re more than likely to sink in self-hatred and insecurity, especially if your partner is the one who initiates the breakup. So much so that the shadow side of everything finally comes to light. Is that, however, true? Why should you be harsh on yourself if someone abandons you or refuses to attach themselves to you despite your best efforts? Although being abandoned is not acceptable, self-hatred is a disease.
Do we all react the same way when our parents or friends correct us? Not at all! So, why is this duality present in a love relationship? We tend to lose our identity so completely that when someone leaves us, we get bereft, depressed, and hopeless.
With a population of 7.7 billion individuals, if one person does not appeal to you, it is pointless to shed a tear. Allowing their behaviour to infiltrate your psyche goes beyond that.
9. Indulge in beneficial activities- The more you engage in activities, the less stressed and sentimental your mind will become. Activities keep your mind occupied and your emotions away from all types of depressing thoughts. Activities such as taking up a pastime and turning it into a passion, or learning new skills, will have a significant impact on your life as well as a significant shift in your behavioural pattern.
“An empty mind is the devil’s factory,” according to a well-known proverb. As a result, to free your heart from the gloomy ideas associated with your ex’s separation, you must engage in beneficial activities.
10. Discuss your ideas with someone trustworthy and wise- Keeping things to yourself kills you from the inside out. It’s usually a good idea to spill your guts out to someone who genuinely cares about you. This will not only provide solutions to your difficulties but will also soothe your bruised heart. Having said that, keep in mind that you are sharing your thoughts with someone mature and trustworthy.
Oversharing almost always makes you a laughingstock. Your self-esteem plummets, your confidence crumbles, and sadness engulfs you. However, you should not be afraid to express yourself in front of others. How will someone find you a solution if you don’t share your pain? As a result, it is vital to seek advice from someone who can provide it to you.
11. Be true to yourself- Keep in mind that you aren’t the first person to experience heartbreak. Death brings people’s loved ones to an end, but does it bring their lives to a halt? Nobody’s life comes to an end. Let’s say you loved someone and gave your heart and soul to them, only to find out one day that they no longer want to be with you. It’s excruciatingly upsetting. Everyone hopes they could see things ahead of time before falling in love so they don’t have to deal with the consequences later.
But reality does not appear to be eluding us. It is acceptable to leave someone. It is acceptable to be duped and to be replaced. Nothing is the ultimate. Your identity, confidence, boundless spirit, and unabashed self are all paramount. Allow everything except your ever-jovial character to fade into obscurity. Breaking up is not a difficult thing to deal with if you keep your head up.
12. Spend time with your loved ones- Spend quality time with those who genuinely care about you. Their presence will exude positivity and will almost certainly make you grin again. You’ll be able to tell if there are folks who are hell-bent on preserving a fading connection or relationship during this procedure.
During this process, you will discover that there are people who are hell-bent on rescuing a fading connection or relationship. We often pay close attention to those who never respect us in the first place, and vice versa. Perhaps this will reintroduce you to your former cheery self and company.
13- You have a lovely life ahead of you- 5 years down the road, when you look back on your life, you will chuckle at your blunders. You’ll realise it wasn’t meant to be. As a result, it didn’t continue. You will be grateful that it happened because you would have lived a life devoid of authentic feelings if the two of you had been in a relationship. You have a lot on your plate in life. Breakups are an inevitable aspect of life.
Things are difficult until we refuse to fight them. You will be able to genuinely repair the movement that you choose to mend. Breakup is a stepping stone to a healthy and successful relationship in the future, just as failure is a stepping stone to success.
Life is full of ups and downs, but the dawn will always break after the darkest hour. Isn’t that so? So, take a deep breath, follow these steps, and trust me when I say you’ll be alright as time passes.
